Teach Me How to Love

" To choose the action of love is powerful. To choose to love thyself is an unbreakable force." - Jo Morrison 

"Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home." -Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Hello lovelies. Welcome back. 

Lately the thought of love has been on my mind.

We live in a world where the word love is thrown around so lightly, when the word love has such a heavy meaning. There are quotes plastered all over the aisle of Home Goods, in coffee shops, and tattooed on our bodies. But do we really understand what it means to love? Is love an emotion or a choice?

How do we learn to love ourselves unconditionally?

Well lets have a look at the definition of love : Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Lets take this a little further. Intense: an extreme force, degree, or strength. Last but not least, let's look at the definition of Affection: a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.

So we can define Love as an extreme feeling of deep fondness or liking.
Now that we have a definition, lets address question number uno. 

Do we understand what it means to love? 

Loving isn't based off of our emotions. To love, we must be selfless. We must see the good in others always. To love someone is not as easy as just loving them while they're on your good side. Real  love is unconditional. It knows no wrong. Love is patient, kind, does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing; but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) That is what it means to love, unpacked, raw, and unedited. 

I bet you're second guessing using that word so frequently huh?

Now that we have unpacked the depth of what it really means to love, let's jump right into question number two. 

Is love an emotion or a choice ? 

I mentioned before that love is unconditional, at least real love is. But what does the word unconditional really mean? I'm glad you asked. 

Unconditional: wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unquestioning
From that definition alone, I'm sure that the answer to this question is already becoming apparent and.. 

This is getting deeper and deeper by the minute. 

To be able to love unconditionally, we have to be able to get over and passed our feelings. Love is not an emotion, it is an action. You have to actively love wholeheartedly. If love was an emotion, we would fall in and out of love on a daily bases. To truly love, we have to make the decision to do so daily. 

So dear children, let us not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions

- 1 John 3;18 

This verse clearly sums up and answers our question. We have to choose to love. Love is not 

an emotion. 

Let's take a moment of silence to let all that we have just learned marinate...

The question is how do we apply this to ourselves? The opening quote is one that I love. "Find the love you seek by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home."

We can not begin to love others unconditionally, if we do not love ourselves. We all have flaws, insecurities, and thoughts that cause us to doubt ourselves. But there is hope. Let's remind ourselves of what the word unconditional means.

Unconditional: wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unquestioning

 My favorite words from the definition of unconditional are unrestricted, wholehearted, and unquestioning.  Although we all have these insecurities that may make us feel unworthy of even our own love, there is a choice to be made. We have to choose to love ourselves first and foremost...

Wholeheartedly : free from all reserve and hesitation, completely and sincerely devoted.

You have to be devoted to loving yourself. Devoted to seeing the good in YOU. Without hesitation, don't you deserve that? (And if a no is sneaking into your mind, find the nearest mirror, and no matter how long it takes, tell yourself that you do.)

Unrestricted: not Limited, or restricted.

You have to practice loving yourself to infinity and beyond. There is cap on how much love you should have for yourself. Let's make it a daily habit to tell ourselves that we love ourselves with our whole being. As we begin to speak these things to ourselves, and out loud, those insecurities have no choice but to bow down.

Unquestioning: accepting something without dissent or doubt.

Accept yourself. Truly accept who you are. Stop doubting that you are amazing. Stop doubting that there is a specific purpose for your life. See the things that others may see as flaws, as beautiful accents that make you who you are. Speak to those things that contribute to your doubt. Have the confidence to work towards being a better you. Accept yourself. With no doubt.

Now I am aware that some of the reasons that we find it hard to love ourselves are caused by events that may have taken place, or just years of telling yourself that you do not deserve to be loved. These factors may make it easy to think "Easier said than done."

But we have to start somewhere. 

Let's make a promise today, right now, to start uplifting ourselves. Find one thing that you love about you and focus on that. Highlight it. As you begin to focus on that gem, other beautiful things within you will begin to arise.We are also going to take control of our thoughts. We will find a mirror daily and tell ourselves..

I love you, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and unquestioningly.

As you begin to love on yourself, love for others will exude from your every being. Love is a choice. Choosing the action of love is powerful, but choosing to love yourself is an unbreakable force. OU my friend, are worthy of love.

xoxo

Jo 

 

Changin' ain't easy

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.

- Socrates

Change is tough. 

I am in a season of change, and I have to admit, it ain't easy. I have grown to accept the fact that change is hard for me. It is something that I try to avoid. And as I sit here, and really challenge myself to admit why I am so resistant towards change, I realize that the answer is pretty simple.

Fear of the unknown.

I am a very detailed person. Once I have a routine, and a flow, I embrace and love it. Knowing what to expect, in every area of my life (with the occasional hiccup) gives me a sense peace. 

The last few months have been filled with the unknown, which is quite uncomfortable. 

Change: to make or become different

In a few months I will be celebrating my first year of marriage. This is an obvious change in my life. Every day I am learning something new. The beautiful encounters my husband and I face are uncontrolled. I am changing into a better wife. I have learned that marriage is all about change. It is no longer about you and your wants and needs, but all about your spouse and their wants and needs. I am (with the help of God) becoming selfless.

Now that is change.

Not only will I be celebrating a year of marriage, but I am also going back to school. For those of you who don't know, working and keeping up a home are two jobs already. The  thought of adding something else to my plate makes me feel uneasy. 

Will I have enough time to spend with my husband? Will work, homework, and my home keep me so busy that I won't have time to enjoy life? Can you hear the panic as you read?

And last but not least..

I have decided to embrace my calling. That is  a BIG change. I have spent 13 years running from what was spoken over my life. As mentioned in my previous blog (Relax Your Mind and Let Your Conscious Be Free) my conscious has kept me comfortable, and too aware of what others think of me. Fully accepting all that God has for me has to be the biggest, and scariest change. 

Although I know God would never give me more than I can handle, the fear of walking out onto the water had me in a place where I was unwilling to leave (change) my comfortable walk in life, and truly let go. I am now willing to change that part of me that wants to hold on, and have control. 

When I came across this quote, my outlook on change shifted. 

I have realized that for my whole life I was fearful of change because I was looking at it all wrong. I was focusing all of my energy, and all of my attention on fighting the urge to remain in my comfort zone, not taking any risks. All along I should have been focusing all of my attention on building the new. 

Change is a beautiful thing.

No matter what comes my way (yours too) lets agree to dare to be adventurous. To not let the unknown cripple us, and to embrace change like it's the latest fashion trend.

We are called to go from faith to faith, and from glory to glory. I want to encourage you, as I encourage myself to embrace change. To focus on all the good that can come from it, and trust that the end result to every change, is a beautiful encounter. 

There's Got To Be More To Life

“There is not one big cosmic meaning for all; there is only 

the meaning we each give to our life, an individual meaning, an individual plot, like an individual novel, a book for each person.”

― Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin 

Oh hello there. 

As I sit here on this beautiful afternoon I can't help but think about life. I mean as far as I know, your late twenties are a period in life where you spend a lot of time pondering your current situation, and your future. So I'm guessing that this does't sound like a foreign habit to most. 

But let me get more specific.

You see, I am a young woman (25 years young) who is in school , working,  and recently married. Although that may seem like the American Dream to some, I find myself unsatisfied. 

Let me make something clear.

I am grateful for the amazing life that God has given me, and wouldn't change the path that brought me here. But now that I am here, my brain can not help but wonder where the next stage of my life will take me. 

I can not fight the craving to break free from this mundane life of mine. I know that I am called, and destined to do great things in this world. I can literally feel it in my bones. Prophesies have confirmed this, which makes me look down at my watch and wonder when will the time come?

And a side note.

I will never deny that part of where this urgency comes from, is from social media selfies of those walking in their calling, and being all that they were made to be, in their twenties. 

Which is why I love the above quote.

We are all made for a purpose greater than we know. Designed and destined to chase after all that God has for us. Every single person, including me, has a specific meaning to their life. We are all an individual novel. Which means I should probably stop comparing my life to selfies. 

That might be a good idea.

Through my thinking, sweating, and nail biting, I am reminded of a bible scripture that put my heart at ease.  

I have it all planned out- plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for.

Jeremiah 29:11

And this was my get it girl, get it moment. God has a plan me for, for us, and he calls us higher and deeper. He has it all planned out. He wants to give us HOPE for the future! 

So how do we calm our worrying minds and tune into God's plans?

Well as I think about this question with you, the answer seems pretty clear. Although it is not as easy peasy as I would like it to be.

If a friend said she had a way to make you $1,000 a day, I'm sure you (we) would be in contact with her daily.

Now to for me, finding my calling, and meaning in life is worth more than $1,000 a day. So how much more should we chase after conversations with God? This my friends is the answer!

There is more to life, and that is found through Jesus Christ, the one who gives us hope for the future.

And suddenly my heart is at ease. I am making a commitment to seek God. His plans for me are better than any plans I can make for myself. The best is always yet to come while seeking his will, rather than trying to figure things out on my own.

Wow!

What an amazing feeling to receive insight. There is nothing like a fresh cup of wisdom.  & I pray that as insightful as this was to me, that it would also be a fresh breath of air to your lungs.

Cheers to fresh vision, & and the realization that there IS more.