Self Awareness Month: Brit V.

Brit is a 20-something year old from Queens, now residing in the BX. She is an amazing mother to a beautiful baby girl, and one of the best Kindergarten teachers around. Brit has overcome many obstacles with her head held high, and finds strength in setting a positive example for her daughter. 

Q. What does Self Awareness mean to you personally?

A. "Personally self awareness to me can be defined as a clear view of my wants and needs. Being fully self aware would include knowing my weaknesses, my strengths, and being able to fully know my beliefs and emotions. Being self aware also gives me a better understanding of how the world views me, and how I view the world. Working on my self awareness allows me to look at the wold in a holistic view." 

Q. What are your greatest strengths? 

A. "My greatest strengths would have to be my will and my determination. I make my mind up about something, and I kill myself to achieve those goals, big or small. I am also very passionate and I love with all of me."

Q. Name one old habit you are trying to get rid of.

A. "One habit I am definitely trying to get rid of is self doubt. I'm always second guessing myself. " 

Q. What steps are you taking?

A. "I want to be more positive, maybe even a little more cocky. I need to bring my confidence forward. I also remind myself of everything I've already overcome, and accomplished! Telling myself 'You've got this, you've been through worst' helps me the most."

Q. What is your best attribute that you have to offer others?

A, "The best attribute I have to give others is my heart. I think about others, and how to treat them. I often put others before myself because I find pleasure in others happiness!"

Q. Where do you find strength? 

A. "I find my strength from deep within. I try to treat others how I want to be treated, cliche but it is the truth. I also find strength when I look at my daughter. I do not think that I would have accomplished so much if I didn't have her presence pushing me to be great. She is my overall greatest accomplishment."

Q. What life lesson would you like to pass on to the next generation?

A. If I could find a message for the next generation to follow, I would tell them to enter the world being colorblind, and I would want them all to practice being mindful of others. I would want them to understand that yes, people are different, and no one person is the same shade, but that should never stop you from wanting to achieve greatness. It should not be a clutch. You are great no matter what history, or society places on you. You are judged by your character, not by color. Practicing mindfulness is also a great tool, and it has changed me this last year. It helps a person be more self aware. Mindfulness has decreases my stress and anxiety levels and overall has improved my quality of life.

I would like to thank Brit for her time. I hope you guys enjoyed encountering this Beautiful Soul with me.

xxx,

Jo

Self Awareness Month: Jomael Young

Jomael is a 30 something year old, residing in Queens, NY. He is married, and an amazing father to a beautiful five month old. He works hard daily to connect dads to resources such as jobs, clothing, and activities that they would have no means to attend such as baseball games. Jomael loves basketball, and his family.

Q. What does Self Awareness mean to you personally?

A. "Self awareness means being aware of who you are, and where you fit in your surroundings; how you connect with others. The most dangerous (and sadly entertaining) people on the planet are those who have no self awareness."

Q. What are your greatest strengths?

A "My greatest strengths are my abilities to observe and self assess,"

Q. Name one old habit you are trying to get rid of.

A. "Inconsistency is a habit I think I'll be trying to get rid of for the rest of my life. Whenever I see success, consistency has the most to do with it."

Q. What steps are you taking?

A. "I'm doing my best to be mindful of how important it is to be consistent. Snoop recently told me to 'Stay ready, so you never have to get ready.'"

Q. What is your best attribute that you have to offer others?

A, "The best attribute I have to give others, I would like to think is laughter through observation... I think people find great comfort in saying out loud what they are thinking."

Q. Where do you find strength? 

A. "Right now I find the greatest strength in my son. To have a child is very re-defining life wise. Legacy, and leaving something for  him to build upon have now become more important than... well...anything."

Q. What life lesson would you like to pass on to the next generation?

A. The most important life lesson I'd like to pass on is that what you're looking for is wisdom, not knowledge... And be aware of how terrible  your music is.

I would like to thank Jomael for his time. Hope you guys enjoyed encountering this Beautiful Soul with me.

xxx,

Jo

Breastfeeding :The Good, The Bad, The Ugly!

Encountering Breastfeeding 

Ladies, ladies, ladies! I have encountered many things in my life, but I must say breastfeeding has definitely  been the most challenging, while also one of the most rewarding encounters yet! 

During my pregnancy I watched many videos of instructors, and moms gracefully placing their baby or doll to their breast and instantly this beautiful, and magical latch happened! I read blog after blog, where women described this heavenly and divine connection that happened almost instantly. So you could only imagine that I was completely blindsided by my experience!

Now for the moms who had it easy, and the above paragraph describes you... God bless your heart! Maybe my experience will be just as lovely next time. 

To be completely honest, during my pregnancy as my due date got closer, and closer I became more and more nervous. I could feel my nipples being torn up, and nightmares of them becoming raw and falling off invaded my dreams! 

Finally the day arrived!! June 24th I gave birth to my baby boy! Now I knew what was coming from all of the videos I watched! As they wiped him down my heart began to pound. The moment that had been giving me night sweats was here. As the nurse walked over to place my baby on my stomach I knew that she was a few steps away from encouraging me to BREASTFEED! 

Panic filled my mind! Would it be like the videos? Would my baby boy latch on so perfectly, and we live happily ever after? Or would my dreams of my nipples being raw and falling off come true? 

Well I wouldn't find out that day, because I panicked and asked the nurse to take the baby! Now let me mention that I also had a high fever and my blood pressure was so low that I had uncontrollable shivers, which made it hard to even hold him. But if I'm being honest, I was slightly relieved. 

But that would soon change... 

Because I had a fever, my precious newborn was taking to the NICU. After a few hours they informed me that they obviously could not starve my child, and that they would need to give him formula. Now in no way am I against formula, or mothers who give formula to their children. At the end of the day you have to do what works for you.

I wanted to breastfeed so desperately that this news was devastating to me. Although deep down a part of me seemed to be relieved. After a few hours the fear was gone, and I was wishing that I had my baby in my arms, doing one of the most natural things that our body was created to do.

When my baby was returned to me, he was well adjusted to the bottle. What did this mean for me? Jaxen did not want to put in the effort to suck on my breast, just to get out little drops of colostrum. I mean who would want to after experiencing the beautiful flow of that sugary formula, satisfying his hunger in minutes?

Was this it? Were my chances of ever breastfeeding over? Honey child when I tell you the Lord made a way, he made a way!

It took some time (two weeks to be exact) but I eventually was able to get my baby boy to latch on... to ONE boob that is. You see while my right nipple had everything in order, my left nipple was completely FLAT!

So this leads to.... THE BAD

• After feeding for 30 minutes to a hour every 30-40 minutes, and gently laying the baby down, I had to drag my tired self to an outlet and do what? PUMP my left boob. By the time I did that and used the bathroom the baby was up to feed again.
• Did I mention I was feeding every 30 to 40 minutes?
• Oh but did you catch the part that said he was actually eating for 30 minutes to a hour??
• My nipples were so freaking sore
• Jax could have finished eating for just five minutes and want to eat again

Now of course things didn't stay this way forever. I am proud to  say that after all of that pumping, my left nipple is no longer flat. Jaxen still feeds for about a hour, but doesn't need to eat again for about two hours, and can even go longer during the night. Between 6 and 9pm he feeds on and off but more just because he is a little clingy around that time. And my number one accomplishment is that I no longer have sore nipples!

Now that the mood has been lifted a little, on to THE GOOD 

• Bonding! There is nothing like the time I get to spend with little man watching his little jaw move up and down. Knowing that he knows that I have the goods for him is an amazing thing.
• Snap Back! Honey booboo child it has been two months, I have not ran one mile, did one crunch, or step foot in a gym, and I am smaller than I was before I had him. 
• Have you checked out the price for formula? I am blessed to be a stay at home mom. Any extra money being saved is a win  for me.
• Less to pack! Man I don't have to think about warming bottles, keeping them warm while out, worrying about running out. Its a beautiful thing.
• Shopping! All clothing must be breastfeeding friendly, which means my closet got the ultimate update. 
• Feeling Empowered! I must say in the beginning I did NOT feel empowered. I felt defeated. But now I can hold my head up knowing that I am doing something so natural. I can admire how amazing, detailed, and intentional God was when creating us. And I feel empowered knowing that I will have a healthy little chunk because I was able to overcome, push through, and continue to breastfeed.

So ladies, my biggest advice is don't do like me and watch thousands of videos of other women's journeys and try to make it your own. Those videos may show that breastfeeding for some is instantly magical. But do not feel discouraged if that is not currently the case for you. If you decide on formula, good for you, if you breastfeed, good for you. Just know that everyone's journey is different and valid. For me breast feeding ended up having its perks, but boy oh boy was the journey a rough one! 

Comment  below and share your experiences with breastfeeding. I would love to hear your stories.

xxx

Jo

Relax Your Mind, and Let Your Concious Be Free

“You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.”
― Joyce Meyer, Battlefield of the Mind: Winning the Battle in Your Mind

Welcome back my dear. And for those just tuning in, hello darlimg.

Have you ever felt as though you are overly aware of, well, just about everything? If you answered yes without hesitation, grab a seat and join the club. Having that keen sense of time, space, bodies, words, and thoughts, that my friends is called your conscious.

Conscious: painfully aware of; sensitive to. // having knowledge of something.

I for one, can admit hesitantly  that I am overly conscious. Overly conscious of what? I know you're just dying to know. Well for starters my image. With every encounter I face from day to day, the ringing question in my head is I wonder what they thought of  me?

Shall I continue?

My speech. I am constantly conscious of the thoughts that become words, that flow off of my tongue and into the ears of those around me. Do I sound educated? 

Because this list can go on, and on, I'll spare my fingers and your eyes, by listing just one more.

My personality. 

You see there is one thing you have to know about me to understand this one. Silly would be the word to describe me in the past. My insecurities, and screw ups led me to force a smile, and crack a joke, to hide how I really felt inside. 

But God quickly reminded me that I am free to be me, besides, a creator always loves to see his creation living up to all that they were created to be.

Back to my personality. Because I am no longer this silly girl, switching faces to hide the pain and be liked, I can't help but wonder.. Is my personalty truly liked?

Now to be honest...

I am working out these issues as the thoughts flow through my mind, trickle down to my finger tips, and become typed words before my eyes. But do you notice a pattern? 

Because I sure do.

I am overly aware of how others will perceive me. And although most are not willing to admit it, I believe this  is something that most struggle with behind closed doors. 

So how do you, we, (I) break out of this bondage and live freely? Ha! I thought you'd never ask.

Relax Your Mind, and Let Your Conscious Be Free... P. Diddy was on to something.

Relax your mind. Some of you may chuckle at this statement. How can we possibly turn these ongoing thoughts off? Yes it is way easier said than done. I for one have been working towards a relaxed mind, and a free conscious for some years now. No need to worry though, it's time to lighten things up a bit.

Philippians 4:8-9 (MSG)

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious- the BEST not the WORST; the beautiful, not the ugly: things to praise, not things to curse.

Get it girl moment.

Did I say Diddy was on to something? My boy Paul hit it on the nail! And if you missed this get it girl/boy moment, let me enlighten you (and myself lol.)

If the key to a free conscious is relaxing your mind, I think we should take a better look at Philippians 4:8-9. This scripture uses the word meditate. 

Meditate: to think deeply or carefully about something.

Paul (maybe known as P. Diddy in his time) was encouraging us to think deeply, and carefully about the positive.

Positive Vibes Only.

He actually says that we will do best by deeply thinking about the best, not the worst, the beautiful, not the ugly, and my favorite, about things that are true! Focusing deeply on these thoughts will surely relax our minds.

Now here's where it gets real.

As I mentioned earlier, many of us are painfully aware of the way that others perceive us, and maybe even how we perceive ourselves. "You can not have a positive life, and a negative mind." The key to having positive thoughts is to meditate on the good, the truth, beautiful things about ourselves, and life. As we begin to fight those negative thoughts, and retrain our thinking habits, the negative will have no choice but to keep it moving. 

Beautiful thoughts, that is the key to a relaxed mind.

And as our minds focus on the positive, we will have no choice but to be consciously  (painfully aware of and/ or sensitive to) the beauty that lives within us. You see your mind and your conscious go hand in hand. A relaxed mind leads to a free conscious.

So dear friends, relax your mind, and let you conscious be free. 

Teach Me How to Love

" To choose the action of love is powerful. To choose to love thyself is an unbreakable force." - Jo Morrison 

"Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home." -Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Hello lovelies. Welcome back. 

Lately the thought of love has been on my mind.

We live in a world where the word love is thrown around so lightly, when the word love has such a heavy meaning. There are quotes plastered all over the aisle of Home Goods, in coffee shops, and tattooed on our bodies. But do we really understand what it means to love? Is love an emotion or a choice?

How do we learn to love ourselves unconditionally?

Well lets have a look at the definition of love : Love: an intense feeling of deep affection. Lets take this a little further. Intense: an extreme force, degree, or strength. Last but not least, let's look at the definition of Affection: a gentle feeling of fondness or liking.

So we can define Love as an extreme feeling of deep fondness or liking.
Now that we have a definition, lets address question number uno. 

Do we understand what it means to love? 

Loving isn't based off of our emotions. To love, we must be selfless. We must see the good in others always. To love someone is not as easy as just loving them while they're on your good side. Real  love is unconditional. It knows no wrong. Love is patient, kind, does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on it's own way; it is not irritable or resentful. It does not rejoice at wrongdoing; but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. (1 Corinthians 13:4-7) That is what it means to love, unpacked, raw, and unedited. 

I bet you're second guessing using that word so frequently huh?

Now that we have unpacked the depth of what it really means to love, let's jump right into question number two. 

Is love an emotion or a choice ? 

I mentioned before that love is unconditional, at least real love is. But what does the word unconditional really mean? I'm glad you asked. 

Unconditional: wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unquestioning
From that definition alone, I'm sure that the answer to this question is already becoming apparent and.. 

This is getting deeper and deeper by the minute. 

To be able to love unconditionally, we have to be able to get over and passed our feelings. Love is not an emotion, it is an action. You have to actively love wholeheartedly. If love was an emotion, we would fall in and out of love on a daily bases. To truly love, we have to make the decision to do so daily. 

So dear children, let us not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions

- 1 John 3;18 

This verse clearly sums up and answers our question. We have to choose to love. Love is not 

an emotion. 

Let's take a moment of silence to let all that we have just learned marinate...

The question is how do we apply this to ourselves? The opening quote is one that I love. "Find the love you seek by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home."

We can not begin to love others unconditionally, if we do not love ourselves. We all have flaws, insecurities, and thoughts that cause us to doubt ourselves. But there is hope. Let's remind ourselves of what the word unconditional means.

Unconditional: wholehearted, unqualified, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted, unquestioning

 My favorite words from the definition of unconditional are unrestricted, wholehearted, and unquestioning.  Although we all have these insecurities that may make us feel unworthy of even our own love, there is a choice to be made. We have to choose to love ourselves first and foremost...

Wholeheartedly : free from all reserve and hesitation, completely and sincerely devoted.

You have to be devoted to loving yourself. Devoted to seeing the good in YOU. Without hesitation, don't you deserve that? (And if a no is sneaking into your mind, find the nearest mirror, and no matter how long it takes, tell yourself that you do.)

Unrestricted: not Limited, or restricted.

You have to practice loving yourself to infinity and beyond. There is cap on how much love you should have for yourself. Let's make it a daily habit to tell ourselves that we love ourselves with our whole being. As we begin to speak these things to ourselves, and out loud, those insecurities have no choice but to bow down.

Unquestioning: accepting something without dissent or doubt.

Accept yourself. Truly accept who you are. Stop doubting that you are amazing. Stop doubting that there is a specific purpose for your life. See the things that others may see as flaws, as beautiful accents that make you who you are. Speak to those things that contribute to your doubt. Have the confidence to work towards being a better you. Accept yourself. With no doubt.

Now I am aware that some of the reasons that we find it hard to love ourselves are caused by events that may have taken place, or just years of telling yourself that you do not deserve to be loved. These factors may make it easy to think "Easier said than done."

But we have to start somewhere. 

Let's make a promise today, right now, to start uplifting ourselves. Find one thing that you love about you and focus on that. Highlight it. As you begin to focus on that gem, other beautiful things within you will begin to arise.We are also going to take control of our thoughts. We will find a mirror daily and tell ourselves..

I love you, unconditionally, wholeheartedly, and unquestioningly.

As you begin to love on yourself, love for others will exude from your every being. Love is a choice. Choosing the action of love is powerful, but choosing to love yourself is an unbreakable force. OU my friend, are worthy of love.

xoxo

Jo